Disagree without making it personal
State the part of the proposal you disagree with and the reason connected to the work. Acknowledge any point you share before discussing the difference. Avoid suggesting that disagreement reveals a flaw in someone’s character.
Try: “I agree that we need a quicker response. My concern is that this option removes the final check. Could we test another way to shorten the process?” Compare options against agreed criteria such as cost, quality or timing. If a decision-maker must choose, clarify how the team will proceed afterwards.
A workplace example
Two team members support different solutions to the same problem. Compare the options against agreed criteria instead of questioning each other’s competence or commitment.
Try this in practice
- State the shared objective.
- Explain the specific trade-off you see.
- Agree how the decision will be made.
Which criterion would help the team compare the options fairly?
More on conflict
Keep reading
Before ending a difficult discussion, summarise what has been agreed and what remains unresolved.
ConflictSet boundaries respectfullyDescribe what you can do, what you cannot commit to and which alternative is available.
ConflictDe-escalate a tense discussionSlow the pace and return to a specific issue.
