Separate intention from impact
Separate intention from impact
You may intend to be efficient while a colleague experiences your short response as dismissive. Begin by acknowledging the effect of your behaviour before explaining what you meant. Ask for a specific example so you can understand the interaction.
Try: “I intended to keep the meeting moving, but I can see that interrupting you made it difficult to finish your point. Please continue.” Agree one observable adjustment, such as leaving space for questions. You do not need to agree with every interpretation to take responsibility for your own behaviour.
A workplace example
A manager sends a short instruction to save time. The employee reads it as criticism and hesitates to ask questions. Both people can clarify the meaning without debating whose reaction is correct.
Try this in practice
- Ask how your message was received.
- Acknowledge the specific effect.
- Agree a clearer way to communicate next time.
Where might your usual communication style have an unintended effect?
More on self-awareness
Keep reading
When something goes wrong, the first explanation that comes to mind may feel like a fact.
Self-awarenessAsk for feedback you can useBroad questions such as “How am I doing?” can produce vague answers.
Self-awarenessBuild a daily emotional check-inBefore your first meeting, name the emotion you are bringing into the room.
