Recognise the story behind a reaction
Recognise the story behind a reaction
When something goes wrong, the first explanation that comes to mind may feel like a fact. Pause and write two columns: what I know and what I am assuming. Keep names, motives and judgements out of the facts column.
If a colleague misses a deadline, the fact is the missed deadline. The reason still needs to be discussed. Ask a neutral question about what happened and what support or adjustment is needed. This keeps the conversation grounded while allowing you to address the effect of the delay.
A workplace example
A project update arrives late. Before deciding that the sender is uncommitted, check whether the deadline, dependencies and reporting expectations were clear. This does not remove the need to address the delay.
Try this in practice
- List only what can be verified.
- Write down your main assumption.
- Ask a neutral question to test it.
What information could change your first interpretation?
More on self-awareness
Keep reading
Broad questions such as “How am I doing?” can produce vague answers.
Self-awarenessSeparate intention from impactYou may intend to be efficient while a colleague experiences your short response as dismissive.
Self-awarenessBuild a daily emotional check-inBefore your first meeting, name the emotion you are bringing into the room.
